by Kristen Hilty
There are an endless number of reasons why couples get divorced. From “his/her chewing drives me crazy” to “he/she just doesn’t get me”. But when we look at the day-to-day grievances and problems, the reasons couples get divorced generally boil down to 5 main reasons. And while any married person gets annoyed with their partner from time-to-time, if the bad outweighs the good, and marriage isn’t fun and no longer makes you happy, it might be time to consider your options.
It goes without saying that this is a deal breaker. However, how you and your spouse handle the situation is often the defining factor in whether or not the marriage can continue. Did they take accountability for their actions? Are you BOTH willing to work together for the right reasons (each other, NOT just the kids)? Do you both still have the same goals and desires for the marriage?
We don’t need to go into detail with this one…. Finances are almost always an issue but how a couple deals with them will often determine how big of an issue it becomes. It’s normal for one spouse to be the CFO of the family. It’s also normal for one spouse to be more of a spender vs. saver. When these roles cause an extra burden on the marriage it can become toxic.
3. Communication (or Lack Thereof) and General Compatibility
Does your spouse get defensive or walk away from arguments? Turn them around against you and deflect? Or do they want to rehash the same conversation over and over? Or do you find yourselves with nothing to talk about, or you just don’t want to talk to them anymore?
Every couple argues, and many of us have the same arguments over and over. But if you feel the arguing is excessive and communication is always unproductive, you may be ready to move in a different direction.
We all change as we get older: There’s no guarantee that our spouse will accept or want to change with us. Changes can bring us together (new hobbies, interests) but can also drive us apart. Perhaps you feel that you don’t have any common interests or activities. Maybe you’ve tried and can’t – or don’t want to – find a common interest or activity.
4. Intimacy – Too Much OR Too Little
I haven’t talked to many couples where both are completely satisfied with their romantic life. But many couples get so far apart on who wants what and when that it can make the difference between a successful and an unhappy marriage.
5. Abuse – Physical or Emotional
Abuse is never acceptable and there are many resources for anyone facing emotional or physical abuse.
If you have questions or want to explore your options, please contact Better Divorce Solutions for a free consultation.