by Kristen Hilty
Money is the number reason for divorce in the U.S. It’s almost impossible to find a couple that doesn’t argue about money. However, there are several main issues/themes that can lead couples to pursue a divorce.
1. What’s Mine, Yours, Ours
Who gets to decide what money is whose, goes into what account, and who gets to decide who spends it and on what? Chances are you’ve asked yourself – and your spouse – these questions, with varying degrees of success. Sometimes couples just don’t agree and can’t get on the same page. Finances are tricky and there’s no right answer but if you can’t find a place to land that suits both parties, it can be a source of constant friction.
Few things are more stressful than carrying debt – of any kind. And debt tends to beget more debt. Then when more and more money goes to paying interest the stress increases. Couples also argue over who is spending what and who got who into what debt, creating a viscous circle.
Opposites attract, and many of us married someone who is different from us in many ways. This is also often the case in finances: one spender, one saver. One conservative, one more spontaneous. These traits can lead to differences in what constitutes a “good” or “necessary” spend. For example, one person may want to spend money on “things” and the other may value experiences. Many couples can’t agree what the “right” thing is.
4. Power Play
Many people’s ego is tied to how much they make or how much money they have. If one spouse stays home, they may feel they don’t have the “permission” to spend money or may feel guilty. It also depends who pays the bills and controls household finances. If both parties work they may compete to make more, or resent the other person spending “their” money.
Kids are expensive. Regardless of age, they always cost money. But what if you can’t agree on what to spend it on? Maybe you only have enough funds for one activity per season – who gets to choose? What if you don’t agree?
At Better Divorce Solutions, we have the financial expertise to guide you through the complex financial issues of your divorce. Contact us today for a free consultation.