by Kristen Hilty
For some time the divorce rate in the USA for first marriages has held at about 50%, which also means that many people have subsequent marriages. Common sense suggests that someone who remarries is older, wiser, more mature, has learned from their mistakes, and knows what they want and need in a partner. Therefore, the divorce rate for second marriages would be expected to be substantially lower than the rate for first marriages. Despite our expectations, according to demographic data, the divorce rate for subsequent marriages is significantly higher than that of first marriages—65%. Why?
1. The Speed at Which We Re-Couple
When you have been rejected by someone you once loved or decide to end a committed relationship, attention from someone new is very exciting. The data shows that many separated individuals are in a new exclusive relationship before their divorce is finalized. Many people enter a new relationship as a means of extricating themselves from an unfulfilling marriage. Rushing from one relationship into another does not provide the time to fully explore the new one before becoming emotionally committed to it. Once the infatuation wanes, the new relationship could be in trouble.
Some ex-spouses are pleased to see their ex enter a new relationship—especially if it could result in fewer legal motions being filed or reduced child support and alimony payments. Some ex’s, though, especially if they were the “dumpee,” are resentful when their ex finds a new relationship and may attempt to sabotage it. Some angry ex’s continue to bring their ex-spouse back to court for various reasons long after the divorce is final. This adds emotional and financial tension to the new partnership. Another sad, but unfortunately common ploy, is to negatively lobby the child against the new partner.
Children can keep even the most tumultuous marriages together. While natural children are binding agents in first marriages, step-children are often divisive factors in subsequent unions. Many parents struggle with managing their own children; nearly all stepparents are frustrated with dealing with their step-kids. A major problem in blended families is partners not supporting each other regarding the management of their respective natural children.
If you are considering divorcing from a 2nd marriage and spent too much of your time and hard-earned money on the 1st divorce, contact Better Divorce Solutions for a complimentary consultation today.